Poker Bores
Dear Poker Abby,
When I was in college, we had a regular ring game, $40 buy-ins nothing fancy. It was my frat's poker game, but we tried to keep an open atmosphere that allowed outsiders to join. Our philosophy was the more the merrier, especially if it brought many rich fish. Unfortunately there was one guy who kept showing up who made horrific puns and tasteless jokes while playing. He was a nice guy, you know the type that tries too hard. We didn't want to tell him not to come, because he brought action and really was a sweet guy, just kind of a loser. Thus, what do you with a guy who is using your poker game as a social outlet but is annoying you throughout? By the by, I think your blog is hysterical.
The important factor is whether the offender wins or loses money. If he's a consistent loser, you certainly don't want him to leave! Find a way to drown out his bad jokes. One tactic is to serve up blended margaritas right from the poker table and every time he starts in, crank up the blender. Just tell him you're listening and that he should keep talking. At least if the blender doesn't block out the irritant, hopefully the tequila will.
If he wins a decent share of the time, there's no reason to tolerate his boorish personality. There are plenty of ways to oust a nice guy who happens to be annoying. One is the passive approach to get him to leave the game on his own. You can try the technique I use when a guy hits on me in a bar and doesn't get the hint that I don't want to talk to him: I stare at him. After giving 10 clipped answers, I follow the next one by simply looking at him with a puzzled expression as if to say, "Are you really that clueless???" With most guys, it only takes another five or six such silent stare downs before they finally walk away thinking there's something wrong with ME. If that doesn't work, you can always get word to him that you all died in a fiery car crash.
Hey, wait a minute. I just realized that my home game has a $40 buy in, I tell a lot of tasteless jokes and I'm somewhat of a loser. This isn't somebody from my game is it? If it is, ignore all the advice above and get the lady a chair.
~~Poker Abby~~
Increasing Your (*Common*)Sense
Dearest PA,
How did you get your (*common*)sense all down the right side and on the bottom?
Thanks for your time!
I had to replace part of a word in your question since there are strict guidelines surrounding the whole, er, (*common*)sense thing and I have to be careful not to share too much. But it's a good thing you came to me with your inadequacies with(*common*)sense. Most people live day in and day out surrounded by (*common*)sense yet never take the time to embrace it.
As for bringing as much (*common*)sense to your site as I have to mine, it's very simple: just insert one after the other. You can't do this in the Dashboard, which is probably why you don't find a lot of (*common*)sense in most blogs. But with the slightest bit of website design knowledge, you can change your template and share more (*common*)sense with the world.
Now then, if this advice or any of my advice has clicked with you, I hope you will click with me.
~~Poker Abby~~
Dear Poker Abby
The Poker Abby site has a whole new look with a slightly different format. Advice is not limited to poker since I have an opinion and (self-professed) expertise on everything. You want the truth? Oh, I'll give it to you. That is, until "the man" shuts me down.
Send your questions to poker abby or publish them in this post's comments section.
~~Poker Abby~~
Poker is so Cruel
Dear Poker Abby
Why does my AQ never pick up at least a pair when I'm all in against 66 or 33 or some other small pair whilst everytime I have the the small pair the other guys A Q turns into a full house A's & Q's. Or even worse, why does my AA get beat by someone else holding 22 and seeing a flush arrive?
My first thought when I read this was that I suffer from multiple personality disorder and sent this to myself in one of my episodes. I know your pain well. However, I don't recommend going all in pre-flop with A/Q very often. If it was such a great Hold 'Em starter, someone would have given it a cool nickname like her man Big Slick.
There's not much you can do at the poker table about those lucky freaks who go all in with a gutshot straight draw only to catch the miracle card on the river. But there's a lot you can do to them later in a dark parking lot.
~~Poker Abby~~
Down Traffic
Dear Poker Abby,
I have this great blog where I discuss down comforters, such as which fill weight I like in the summer, which fill weight I like in the winter, etc. I call it "Can't Weight To Get My Fill." (Get it)? Since there are so many people who use down comforters, I think my blog could appeal to a large audience if only they could find it. I even have one of those blog chatboards for other down comforter lovers to interact and possibly meet. Do you have any suggestions on how to get more visitors to my site?
I have to say, I LOVE my down comforter. I've often thought about wearing it around town but I don't because it would be too cumbersome and people would look at me the same way they look at Courtney Love or a lion: curious yet frightened. The only thing that would be weirder than wearing a down comforter would be spending more than 1o minutes in a given year reading about or discussing down comforters (that leaves me seven minutes to wrap this up).
I really can't offer you any advice on how to draw more traffic to your site as I'm the LAST person who knows anything about that. But I can tell you that you can increase your readership with a more interesting topic, like say, mustard seeds. At the very least, I recommend you remove the chatboard. Given your subject matter and title, you're likely to attract unstable linen fetishists ready to attack the second they realize they're wrapped in a comforter with polyester filling. We've all heard the phrase "Going postal on someone," I'd hate for some psycho to bring a bad connotation to the phrase "Going down on someone."
~~Poker Abby~~