Beauty Mistakes

Dear Poker Abby,

I love your column. As a poker expert, you must have seen some pretty interesting Beauty Disasters. As a beauty editor, my two favorite Beauty Disaster locations are The Las Vegas Strip and Dollywood.

Tell me, what do you think is the biggest beauty mistake a woman can make? What do you think can instantly make a woman more beautiful?
The biggest beauty mistake a woman can make is to accessorize poorly. And not just on your body, it's everything you surround yourself with- particularly your man. Most beauty conscious women wouldn't dare to go out in public wearing a shirt that's old, pants that are too short or shoes that are ragged. But then they ignore those same qualities in a guy.

Think of a man as an accessory and choose one who who accents your positive features while camouflaging your negative ones. For example, if you have great hair, choose a sexy Vin Dieselesque bald man to call attention to your fab 'do. On the flip side, if you're carrying some extra weight, you should date an African American man since black is very slimming.

The same holds true for location. The reason you witnessed so many beauty disasters in Vegas and Dollywood is that the tackiness of those locales reflects poorly on its inhabitants. I used to live in Hawaii and I definitely got more action there than anywhere else. The vision of swaying palm trees in the corner of one's eye does wonders for a gal's figure.

You have to think of the whole picture when preparing yourself: a convertible Mercedes makes you look much hotter than an MTA bus, a wood bar makes you more attractive than a McDonald's counter and having George Clooney on your arm makes you look much more beautiful than having Carrot Top on your arm.

~~Poker Abby~~



8 Comments:

Blogger Freddy said...

Often it's availability that makes a woman attractive [wink]
That and beer.

 
Anonymous ANGRYEVIL said...

load of bollocks

 
Blogger Jillian Hurley, Beauty Editor said...

Thanks for the answer Poker Abby, I'll make sure to link it to my own blog...your blog is great or in the word of freddy (wink)

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I seriously hope the "men as accessories" thing is satire.

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I seriously hope YOU'RE joking that you even have to wonder.

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEAR FUCKING ASSHOLE, WHERE IS THE LESBIAN THERAPY PAGE?

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like that last one really!!!!!!! needs some therapy

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

strange...

 


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