Superbowl Snacks

Dear Poker Abby,

My buddies and I are going to watch the Superbowl at a friend's place. We'll be ordering pizza for half time but we each agreed to bring some other snack to eat during the game. What is the essential Superbowl munchie?
That would be Doritos. And I mean REAL Doritos. Not the cardboard flavored baked variety and definitely not the anal leakage producing one with Olestra. Good old fashioned Doritos are not only tasty, they're versatile:

  • When your team makes a touchdown, you can snap a couple in your hands like fireworks crackling in celebration.


  • If Mick Jagger suffers a half time wardrobe malfunction, you can immediately tape the arrow-shaped chips to the tv, creating a diagram of the organ's debut. You'll get a head start on the other theorists and have the sort of "stiff" documentation that could very well land you an appearance on "Larry King Live."


  • If one of your buddies cheers when the enemy scores, you can use the sharp corner to stab him in the eye. You just can't get the same results with popcorn.


    • For taste, I recommend the guacamole flavor but if you think the offensive eye maneuver might be necessary, definitely get picante.

    ~~Poker Abby~~



    2 Comments:

    Blogger Unknown said...

    Doritos, while delicious, do not compare with Tostitos in SuperBowl snacking. You do all the tricks you detail AND they go better with a huge variety of dips. They don't even leave orange gunk on your fingers, allowing for easier high-fiving. Forget about it!

     
    Blogger UncleWatson said...

    Hello, Uncle Watson here (God of the Universe). Your observations about Doritos are very astute. However, I prefer Twiglets to Doritos - they provide greater leverage when poked in the eye, and can be used for scratching oneself in hard to reach places.

     


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